Chronicles Of Appalling Parenting: Sunday Night Palm Reading

So, me and the mini-Infidels were sitting around on Sunday evening just chillaxin and reading each other's palms.
What? Doesn't every religious family break the Biblical commandment about divinification and read palms on Sunday immediately following church services?
Anyway, my daughter, Caterpillar(so named for her giant, furry eyebrows) played the part of an 8-year old soothsayer.
She carefully examined the deep crevices stretching across my palms. She answered all my questions without hesitation; deep, profound questions like:
Will I die before I'm 30?
Will I have children?
What am I going to cook for dinner tomorrow?
And then it was Caterpillar's turn.
I lovingly took her small, bronzed hand in mine and announced that the long line across the middle of her palm was the designated "Eyebrow Indicator." I showed her that a continuous line means that she's destined to have an eternal uni-brow and one day grow up to assume her role as Bride Of Uni-brow and have many uni-browed children running around.

The oldest of the mini-Infidels, Sunbum then led us gaily into song.
There's nothing quite like the soaring sound of a family singing as one harmonious a chord.
Did we gather around the piano to sing from the hymnal?
No.
Did we use the Children's Songbook from Church for uplifting musical inspiration?
No.
Sunbum directed us while we heartily belted out Hall & Oate's song, Maneatear.
"Ooooh, here she comes. Watch out, boy she'll chew you up!"
We often sing Maneater while walking through the aisles at Sam's Club.
Sunbum is so well-rehearsed at it that she throws in this hand-snapping motion as she sways from side-to-side and jazzily shakes her shoulders.
With those moves, Sunbum will definitely land a major role in Hall & Oates:The Musical!

Well, in my defense as a mother, Hall & Oates are always described by music critics as "blue-eyed soul."
Technically, we all engaged in singing sweet, sweet music full of soul on a lovely Sunday evening.
Yes sirree, it was quite a hootenanny until my youngest son asked to be excused.
I guess his soul was all filled-up courtesy of Hall & Oates.